Draupadi Pours Out Her Grief to Bhima

Verse 1 (4.23.1)

अहं सैरन्ध्रिवेषेण वसन्ती राजवेश्मनि । वशगाऽस्मि सुदेष्णाया अक्षधूर्तस्य कारणात् ॥

ahaṃ sairandhriveṣeṇa vasantī rājaveśmani | vaśagā'smi sudeṣṇāyā akṣadhūrtasya kāraṇāt

Living in the king's palace in the guise of a sairandhri, I am at Sudeshna's beck and call, all because of that cheat at dice.

Verse 2 (4.23.2)

विक्रियां पश्य मे तीव्रां राजपुत्र्याः परन्तप । आसे कालमुपासीना सर्वदुःखसहा पुनः ॥

vikriyāṃ paśya me tīvrāṃ rājaputryāḥ parantapa | āse kālamupāsīnā sarvaduḥkhasahā punaḥ

See the cruel change that has come over me, a king's daughter, O scorcher of foes. I sit waiting for my time, bearing every sorrow once again.

Verse 3 (4.23.3)

अनित्याः खलु मर्त्यानामर्थाश्च व्यसनानि च । इति मत्वा प्रतीक्षामि भर्तॄणामुदयं पुनः ॥

anityāḥ khalu martyānāmarthāśca vyasanāni ca | iti matvā pratīkṣāmi bhartṝṇāmudayaṃ punaḥ

For mortals, fortune and misfortune surely do not last. Thinking this, I wait for my husbands to rise again.

Verse 4 (4.23.4)

चक्रवत्परिवर्तन्ते ह्यर्थाश्च व्यसनानि च । इति कृत्वा प्रतीक्षामि भर्तॄणामुदयं पुनः ॥

cakravatparivartante hyarthāśca vyasanāni ca | iti kṛtvā pratīkṣāmi bhartṝṇāmudayaṃ punaḥ

Fortune and misfortune turn round like a wheel. With this in mind I wait for my husbands to rise again.

Note on the text: Not in the critical edition (found in the vulgate recension). Line 1 appears in the critical edition only in its apparatus, as 4.19.3d*0387 (reading cakravat kila martyānām arthāś ca vyasanāni ca); line 2 is CE 4.19.3cd, which Wikisource's previous verse gives with मत्वा for कृत्वा.

Verse 5 (4.23.5)

य एव हेतुर्भवति पुरुषस्य जयावहः । पराजये च हेतुः स इति च प्रतिपालये ॥

ya eva heturbhavati puruṣasya jayāvahaḥ | parājaye ca hetuḥ sa iti ca pratipālaye

The very cause that brings a man victory is also the cause of his defeat. With this thought I wait.

Verse 6 (4.23.6)

दत्त्वा याचन्ति पुरुषा हत्वा हन्यन्त एव ते । पातयित्वा च पात्यन्ते परैरिति च मे श्रुतम् ॥

dattvā yācanti puruṣā hatvā hanyanta eva te | pātayitvā ca pātyante parairiti ca me śrutam

Men who give come in turn to beg; those who kill are themselves killed; those who bring others down are brought down by others. So I have heard.

Verse 7 (4.23.7)

न दैवस्यातिभारोस्ति न चैवास्यातिवर्तनम् । इति चाप्यागमं भूयो दैवस्य प्रतिपालये ॥

na daivasyātibhārosti na caivāsyātivartanam | iti cāpyāgamaṃ bhūyo daivasya pratipālaye

No burden is too heavy for fate, and there is no getting past it. So I wait once more for fate to turn in our favour.

Verse 8 (4.23.8)

स्थितं पूर्वं जलं यत्र न पुनस्तत्र तिष्ठति । इति पर्यायमिच्छन्ति प्रतीक्षाम्युदयं पुनः ॥

sthitaṃ pūrvaṃ jalaṃ yatra na punastatra tiṣṭhati | iti paryāyamicchanti pratīkṣāmyudayaṃ punaḥ

Water does not stand again where it once stood; so, people say, things come round in turn. I wait for our rise once more.

Verse 9 (4.23.9)

दैवेन किल यस्यार्थः सुनीतोपि विपद्यते । सदा दैवागमे यत्नस्तेन कार्यो विजानता ॥

daivena kila yasyārthaḥ sunītopi vipadyate | sadā daivāgame yatnastena kāryo vijānatā

When fate is against a man, his purpose fails even if it was well planned. So one who understands this should always strive for fate's favour to come.

Verse 10 (4.23.10)

किंनु मे वचनस्याद्य कथितस्य प्रयोजनम् । पृच्छ मां दुःखितामेनामपृष्टाऽपि ब्रवीमि ते ॥

kiṃnu me vacanasyādya kathitasya prayojanam | pṛccha māṃ duḥkhitāmenāmapṛṣṭā'pi bravīmi te

But what use is it now for me to say all this? Ask me, sorrowing as I am; though even unasked, I am telling you.

Verse 11 (4.23.11)

महिषी पाण्डुपुत्राणां दुहिता द्रुपदस्य च । इमामवस्थां संप्राप्ता मदन्या का जिजीविषेत् ॥

mahiṣī pāṇḍuputrāṇāṃ duhitā drupadasya ca | imāmavasthāṃ saṃprāptā madanyā kā jijīviṣet

Queen of the sons of Pandu and daughter of Drupada, and come to such a state: what woman but I would still wish to live?

Verse 12 (4.23.12)

कुरून्परिहरन्सर्वान्पाञ्चालानपि भारत । पाण्डवेयांश्च संप्राप्तो मम शोको ह्यरिन्दम ॥

kurūnpariharansarvānpāñcālānapi bhārata | pāṇḍaveyāṃśca saṃprāpto mama śoko hyarindama

This grief of mine, O Bharata, which shames all the Kurus and the Panchalas as well, has come upon the sons of Pandu too, O tamer of foes.

Verse 13 (4.23.13)

भ्रातृभिः श्वशुरैः पुत्रैर्बहुभिः परिवारिता । एवं समुदिता नारी कान्येयं दुःखभागिनी ॥

bhrātṛbhiḥ śvaśuraiḥ putrairbahubhiḥ parivāritā | evaṃ samuditā nārī kānyeyaṃ duḥkhabhāginī

Surrounded by many brothers, fathers-in-law and sons, a woman so blessed: what other woman has ever had such a share of sorrow?

Note on the text: Corrected कान्वेयं → कान्येयं (misprint in Wikisource; न्वेयं is no word, while का अन्या इयम् "what other woman is this" gives the sense, matching the critical edition's kā nv anyā). Wikisource's दुःखभागिनी (for the CE's duḥkhitā bhavet) is kept.

Verse 14 (4.23.14)

नूनं बालतया धातुर्मया वै विप्रियं कृतम् । तस्य प्रभावाद्दुर्नीतं प्राप्ताऽस्मि भरतर्षभ ॥

nūnaṃ bālatayā dhāturmayā vai vipriyaṃ kṛtam | tasya prabhāvāddurnītaṃ prāptā'smi bharatarṣabha

Surely in my childishness I did something displeasing to the Creator, and through its power I have come to this misery, O bull among the Bharatas.

Verse 15 (4.23.15)

वर्णं विकारमपि मे पश्य पाण्डव यादृशम् । ईदृशो मे न तत्रासीद्दुःखे परमके पुरा ॥

varṇaṃ vikāramapi me paśya pāṇḍava yādṛśam | īdṛśo me na tatrāsīdduḥkhe paramake purā

See, son of Pandu, how my colour has changed. It was not like this even back then, in my greatest sorrow.

Verse 16 (4.23.16)

त्वमेव भीम जानीषे यन्मे पार्थ सुखं पुरा । साऽहं दासीत्वमापन्ना न शान्तिं मनसा लभे ॥

tvameva bhīma jānīṣe yanme pārtha sukhaṃ purā | sā'haṃ dāsītvamāpannā na śāntiṃ manasā labhe

You alone know, Bhima, son of Pritha, the happiness I once had. Now, reduced to a slave-woman, I find no peace of mind.

Verse 17 (4.23.17)

तद्दैविकमिदं मन्ये यत्र पार्थो धनञ्जयः । भीमधन्वा महारङ्गे चास्ते शान्त इवानलः ॥

taddaivikamidaṃ manye yatra pārtho dhanañjayaḥ | bhīmadhanvā mahāraṅge cāste śānta ivānalaḥ

I think it is fate's doing that Partha Dhananjaya, wielder of the fearsome bow, sits in the great dancing hall like a fire that has gone quiet.

Verse 18 (4.23.18)

अशक्या वेदितुं पार्थ प्राणिनां वै गतिर्नरैः । विनिपातमिमं पश्य युष्माकमविचिन्तितम् ॥

aśakyā vedituṃ pārtha prāṇināṃ vai gatirnaraiḥ | vinipātamimaṃ paśya yuṣmākamavicintitam

Men cannot know the course that living beings must take, Partha. Look at this downfall of yours, which no one could have imagined.

Verse 19 (4.23.19)

यस्या मम मुखप्रेक्षा यूयमिन्द्रसमाः सदा । सा प्रेक्षे मुखमन्यासामवराणां वरा सती ॥

yasyā mama mukhaprekṣā yūyamindrasamāḥ sadā | sā prekṣe mukhamanyāsāmavarāṇāṃ varā satī

I, whose face you, the equals of Indra, were always watching, I, the best of women, now watch the faces of others beneath me.

Note on the text: Corrected प्रेक्ष्य → प्रेक्षे (misprint in Wikisource; the gerund leaves the sentence without a verb, while the sense needs "I look at", as the critical edition's prekṣe reads).

Verse 20 (4.23.20)

पश्य पाण्डव मेऽवस्थां यथा नार्हामि वै तथा । युष्मासु ध्रियमाणेषु पाञ्चालेषु च मानद ॥

paśya pāṇḍava me'vasthāṃ yathā nārhāmi vai tathā | yuṣmāsu dhriyamāṇeṣu pāñcāleṣu ca mānada

See my condition, son of Pandu, which I in no way deserve, and this while you are alive, and the Panchalas too, O giver of honour.

Verse 21 (4.23.21)

यस्याः सागरपर्यन्ता पृथिवी वशवर्तिनी । आसीत्साऽद्य सुदेष्णायाः पाञ्चाली वशवर्तिनी ॥

yasyāḥ sāgaraparyantā pṛthivī vaśavartinī | āsītsā'dya sudeṣṇāyāḥ pāñcālī vaśavartinī

She to whom the earth, as far as the ocean, was once subject: that Panchali is today subject to Sudeshna.

Verse 22 (4.23.22)

यस्याः पुरश्चरा ह्यासन्पृष्ठतश्चानुगामिनः । साहमद्य सुदेष्णायाः पुरः पश्चाच्च गामिनी ॥

yasyāḥ puraścarā hyāsanpṛṣṭhataścānugāminaḥ | sāhamadya sudeṣṇāyāḥ puraḥ paścācca gāminī

I, who once had attendants walking before me and following behind, now walk before and behind Sudeshna.

Note on the text: CE 4.19.21ab (the automatic alignment missed it; the CE prints the first line of the next verse, idaṃ tu duḥkhaṃ kaunteya…, as 4.19.21ef).

Verse 23 (4.23.23)

इदं तु दुःखं कौन्तेय ममासह्यं निबोध तत् । या न जातु स्वयं पिंषे गात्रोद्वर्तनमात्मनः । अन्यत्र कुन्त्या भद्रं ते सा पिनष्म्यद्य चन्दनं ॥

idaṃ tu duḥkhaṃ kaunteya mamāsahyaṃ nibodha tat | yā na jātu svayaṃ piṃṣe gātrodvartanamātmanaḥ | anyatra kuntyā bhadraṃ te sā pinaṣmyadya candanaṃ

But hear this grief of mine, son of Kunti, which I cannot bear. I, who never ground ointment even for my own body, except for Kunti (bless you), now grind sandal paste.

Note on the text: Line 1 is CE 4.19.21ef; lines 2–3 are CE 4.19.22ab (the CE reads sādya piṃṣāmi for सा पिनष्म्यद्य).

Verse 24 (4.23.24)

पश्य कौन्तेय पाणी मे नैवं वै भवतः पुरा । इत्यस्मै दर्शयामास किणवन्तौ करावुभौ ॥

paśya kaunteya pāṇī me naivaṃ vai bhavataḥ purā | ityasmai darśayāmāsa kiṇavantau karāvubhau

"Look at my hands, son of Kunti; they were not like this before." And she showed him her two hands, hardened with calluses.

Note on the text: Line 1 is CE 4.19.22ef; line 2 is CE 4.19.23a, which the CE heads वैशम्पायन उवाच. Wikisource prints no heading, so the verse stays with Draupadi, whose words it completes.

Verse 25 (4.23.25)

बिभेमि कुन्त्या या नाऽहं युष्माकं वा कदाचन । साऽद्याग्रतो विराटस्य भीता तिष्ठामि किंकरी ॥

bibhemi kuntyā yā nā'haṃ yuṣmākaṃ vā kadācana | sā'dyāgrato virāṭasya bhītā tiṣṭhāmi kiṃkarī

I, who never feared Kunti, nor any of you, now stand before Virata as a frightened maidservant.

Verse 26 (4.23.26)

किंनु वक्ष्यति सम्राण्मां वर्णकः सुकृतो न वा । नान्यपिष्टं विराटस्य चन्दनं किल रोचते ॥

kiṃnu vakṣyati samrāṇmāṃ varṇakaḥ sukṛto na vā | nānyapiṣṭaṃ virāṭasya candanaṃ kila rocate

"What will the emperor say to me? Is the paste well made or not?" For Virata, they say, likes no sandal paste ground by anyone else.

Verse 27 (4.23.27)

सा कीर्तयन्ती दुःखानि भीमसेनस्य भामिनी । रुरोद शनकैः कृष्णा भीमस्योरस्समाश्रिता ॥

sā kīrtayantī duḥkhāni bhīmasenasya bhāminī | ruroda śanakaiḥ kṛṣṇā bhīmasyorassamāśritā

Recounting her sorrows to Bhimasena, the lovely Krishna wept softly, leaning on Bhima's chest.

Verse 28 (4.23.28)

सा बाष्पकलया वाचा निश्वसन्ती पुनःपुनः । हृदयं भीमसेनस्य घटयन्तीदमब्रवीत् ॥

sā bāṣpakalayā vācā niśvasantī punaḥpunaḥ | hṛdayaṃ bhīmasenasya ghaṭayantīdamabravīt

Sighing again and again, in a voice broken with tears, she spoke these words, which shook Bhimasena's heart:

Verse 29 (4.23.29)

नाल्पं कृतं मया भीम देवानां किल्बिषं पुरा । अभाग्या या तु जीवामि मर्तव्ये सति पाण्डव ॥

nālpaṃ kṛtaṃ mayā bhīma devānāṃ kilbiṣaṃ purā | abhāgyā yā tu jīvāmi martavye sati pāṇḍava

It was no small sin, Bhima, that I committed against the gods in the past, unlucky woman that I am, who go on living when I ought to die, son of Pandu.

Note on the text: Speaker set to Draupadi: the verse is wholly her direct speech, announced by the previous verse (Wikisource prints no heading, and the input carried Vaishampayana over).

Verse 30 (4.23.30)

कीचकं चेन्न हन्यास्त्वं स्वात्मानं नाशयाम्यहम् । विषमालोड्य पास्यामि प्रवेक्ष्याम्यथवाऽनलम् । अभाग्याऽहमपुण्याऽहं नित्यदुःखा च विक्लवा ॥

kīcakaṃ cenna hanyāstvaṃ svātmānaṃ nāśayāmyaham | viṣamāloḍya pāsyāmi pravekṣyāmyathavā'nalam | abhāgyā'hamapuṇyā'haṃ nityaduḥkhā ca viklavā

If you do not kill Kichaka, I will destroy myself: I will mix poison and drink it, or else enter the fire. I am unlucky, without merit, ever in sorrow and distraught.

Note on the text: Not in the critical edition (found in the vulgate recension); the critical edition records it in its apparatus as 4.19.28d*0393, lines 1–3. Speaker set to Draupadi: the verse is wholly her direct speech, and Wikisource prints no speaker heading for it.

Verse 31 (4.23.31)

पापे निपतितायाश्च किं फलं जीवितेन मे । इत्यस्मै दर्शयामास किणबद्धौ करावुभौ ॥

pāpe nipatitāyāśca kiṃ phalaṃ jīvitena me | ityasmai darśayāmāsa kiṇabaddhau karāvubhau

"Fallen into such misfortune, what fruit is there for me in living?" Saying this, she showed him her two callused hands.

Note on the text: Not in the critical edition (found in the vulgate recension). Line 1 is the CE apparatus 4.19.28d*0393, line 4 (reading pāpena pātitāyāś ca); line 2 repeats CE 4.19.23a (ity asya darśayām āsa kiṇabaddhau karāv ubhau), which Wikisource has already used, with किणवन्तौ, at the end of verse 24. Speaker set to Draupadi, whose words open the verse (Wikisource prints no heading).

Verse 32 (4.23.32)

ततस्तस्याः करौ पीनौ किणबद्धौ वृकोदरः । मुखमानीय वेपन्त्या रुरोद परवीरहा ॥

tatastasyāḥ karau pīnau kiṇabaddhau vṛkodaraḥ | mukhamānīya vepantyā ruroda paravīrahā

Then Vrikodara, slayer of enemy heroes, took the trembling woman's soft, callused hands, pressed them to his face and wept.

Verse 33 (4.23.33)

तौ गृहीत्वा च कौन्तेयो बाष्पमुत्सृज्य वीर्यवान् । ततः परमदुःखार्त इदं वचनमब्रवीत् ॥

tau gṛhītvā ca kaunteyo bāṣpamutsṛjya vīryavān | tataḥ paramaduḥkhārta idaṃ vacanamabravīt

Holding them, the valiant son of Kunti let his tears fall, and then, in the deepest distress, he spoke these words:

Note on the text: Wikisource prints this verse's number as 32 (repeating the previous one); its row id is 4-23-33, which is kept.