The King's Night of Anguish

Shloka 1 (ayodhya.13.1)

अतदर्हं महाराजं शयानमतथोचितम् । ययातिमिव पुण्यान्ते देवलोकात्परिच्युतम् ।। १३.१ ।।

atadarhaṃ mahārājaṃ śayānamatathocitam | yayātimiva puṇyānte devalokātparicyutam || 13.1 ||

The great king, lying there in a plight so unworthy and unbefitting him—like Yayati, fallen from the world of the gods once his merit was spent.

Shloka 2 (ayodhya.13.2)

अनर्थरूपासिद्धार्था ह्यभीता भयदर्शिनी । पुनराकारयामास तमेव वरमङ्गना ।। १३.२ ।।

anartharūpāsiddhārthā hyabhītā bhayadarśinī | punarākārayāmāsa tameva varamaṅganā || 13.2 ||

That woman—the very shape of calamity, her purpose achieved, herself unafraid yet ever quick to show fear—called out to him once more for that same boon.

Shloka 3 (ayodhya.13.3)

त्वं कत्थसे महाराज सत्यवादी दृढव्रतः । मम चेदं वरं कस्माद्विधारयितुमिच्छसि ।। १३.३ ।।

tvaṃ katthase mahārāja satyavādī dṛḍhavrataḥ | mama cedaṃ varaṃ kasmādvidhārayitumicchasi || 13.3 ||

"You boast, O great king, of being truthful and firm in your vows. Then why do you wish to withhold this boon of mine?"

Shloka 4 (ayodhya.13.4)

एवमुक्तस्तु कैकेय्या राजा दशरथस्तदा । प्रत्युवाच ततः क्रुद्धो मुहूर्तं विह्वलन्निव ।। १३.४ ।।

evamuktastu kaikeyyā rājā daśarathastadā | pratyuvāca tataḥ kruddho muhūrtaṃ vihvalanniva || 13.4 ||

Thus addressed by Kaikeyi, King Dasharatha grew angry, and reeling for a moment as if bewildered, replied to her.

Shloka 5 (ayodhya.13.5)

मृते मयि गते रामे वनं मनुजपुङ्गवे । हन्तानार्ये ममामित्रे सकामा सुखिनी भव ।। १३.५ ।।

mṛte mayi gate rāme vanaṃ manujapuṅgave | hantānārye mamāmitre sakāmā sukhinī bhava || 13.5 ||

"When I am dead and Rama, that bull among men, has gone to the forest—then, O ignoble one, O my enemy, may you at last be happy, your desire fulfilled!"

Shloka 6 (ayodhya.13.6)

स्वर्गेऽपि खलु रामस्य कुशलं दैवतैरहम् । प्रत्यादेशादभिहितं धारयिष्ये कथं बत ।। १३.६ ।।

svarge'pi khalu rāmasya kuśalaṃ daivatairaham | pratyādeśādabhihitaṃ dhārayiṣye kathaṃ bata || 13.6 ||

"Alas, how shall I, even in heaven, bear it when the gods themselves speak of Rama's welfare—I, who will have renounced him by my own decree?"

Shloka 7 (ayodhya.13.7)

कैकेय्याः प्रियकामेन रामः प्रव्राजितो वनम् । यदि सत्यं ब्रवीम्येतत्तदसत्यं भविष्यति ।। १३.७ ।।

kaikeyyāḥ priyakāmena rāmaḥ pravrājito vanam | yadi satyaṃ bravīmyetattadasatyaṃ bhaviṣyati || 13.7 ||

"That Rama has been sent to the forest only to please Kaikeyi—if I speak this as the plain truth, it will surely seem to be a lie!"

Shloka 8 (ayodhya.13.8)

अपुत्रेण मया पुत्रः श्रमेण महता महान् । रामो लब्धो महाबाहुः स कथं त्यज्यते मया ।। १३.८ ।।

aputreṇa mayā putraḥ śrameṇa mahatā mahān | rāmo labdho mahābāhuḥ sa kathaṃ tyajyate mayā || 13.8 ||

"I, who was without a son, obtained this great, mighty-armed Rama only through immense toil—how then can he be forsaken by me?"

Shloka 9 (ayodhya.13.9)

शूरश्च कृतविद्यश्च जितक्रोधः क्षमापरः । कथं कमलपत्राक्षो मया रामो विवास्यते ।। १३.९ ।।

śūraśca kṛtavidyaśca jitakrodhaḥ kṣamāparaḥ | kathaṃ kamalapatrākṣo mayā rāmo vivāsyate || 13.9 ||

"He is brave, learned, master of his own anger, devoted to forgiveness—how can I possibly banish that lotus-eyed Rama?"

Shloka 10 (ayodhya.13.10)

कथमिन्दीवरश्यामं दीर्घबाहुं महाबलम् । अभिराममहं रामं प्रेषयिष्यामि दण्डकान् ।। १३.१० ।।

kathamindīvaraśyāmaṃ dīrghabāhuṃ mahābalam | abhirāmamahaṃ rāmaṃ preṣayiṣyāmi daṇḍakān || 13.10 ||

"How shall I send that Rama—dark as the blue lotus, long of arm, mighty, altogether lovely—away into the Dandaka forest?"

Shloka 11 (ayodhya.13.11)

सुखानामुचितस्यैव दुःखैरनुचितस्य च । दुःखं नामानुपश्येयं कथं रामस्य धीमतः ।। १३.११ ।।

sukhānāmucitasyaiva duḥkhairanucitasya ca | duḥkhaṃ nāmānupaśyeyaṃ kathaṃ rāmasya dhīmataḥ || 13.11 ||

"How shall I bear to witness the suffering of the wise Rama—one fit only for happiness, and wholly unfit for sorrow?"

Shloka 12 (ayodhya.13.12)

यदि दुःखमकृत्वाद्य मम संक्रमणं भवेत् । अदुःखार्हस्य रामस्य ततः सुखमवाप्नुयाम् ।। १३.१२ ।।

yadi duḥkhamakṛtvādya mama saṃkramaṇaṃ bhavet | aduḥkhārhasya rāmasya tataḥ sukhamavāpnuyām || 13.12 ||

"If my own passing could come today without causing him grief, then—Rama being undeserving of sorrow—I would find happiness in it."

Shloka 13 (ayodhya.13.13)

नृशंसे पापसंकल्पे रामं सत्यपराक्रमम् । किं विप्रियेण कैकेयि प्रियं योजयसे मम ।। १३.१३ ।।

nṛśaṃse pāpasaṃkalpe rāmaṃ satyaparākramam | kiṃ vipriyeṇa kaikeyi priyaṃ yojayase mama || 13.13 ||

"O cruel one, of sinful resolve, why do you yoke my joy to grief, O Kaikeyi, by working harm upon Rama of true valour?"

Shloka 14 (ayodhya.13.14)

अकीर्तिरतुला लोके ध्रुवं परिभविष्यति । तथा विलपतस्तस्य परिभ्रमितचेतसः ।। १३.१४ ।।

akīrtiratulā loke dhruvaṃ paribhaviṣyati | tathā vilapatastasya paribhramitacetasaḥ || 13.14 ||

Matchless infamy would surely befall him now in this world—so he lamented, his mind reeling as he wailed.

Shloka 15 (ayodhya.13.15)

अस्तमभ्यागमत्सूर्यो रजनी चाभ्यवर्तत । सा त्रियामा तथार्तस्य चन्द्रमण्डलमण्डिता ।। १३.१५ ।।

astamabhyāgamatsūryo rajanī cābhyavartata | sā triyāmā tathārtasya candramaṇḍalamaṇḍitā || 13.15 ||

The sun set, and night came on—that three-watched night, adorned with the moon's disc, for him who lay so afflicted.

Shloka 16 (ayodhya.13.16)

राज्ञो विलपमानस्य न व्यभासत शर्वरी । तथैवोष्णं विनिःश्वस्य वृद्धो दशरथो नृपः ।। १३.१६ ।।

rājño vilapamānasya na vyabhāsata śarvarī | tathaivoṣṇaṃ viniḥśvasya vṛddho daśaratho nṛpaḥ || 13.16 ||

For the wailing king, the night did not seem to shine at all; and so, sighing long and burning breaths, the aged King Dasharatha lay.

Shloka 17 (ayodhya.13.17)

विललापार्तवद्दुःखं गगनासक्तलोचनः । न प्रभातं त्वयेच्छामि निशे नक्षत्रभूषिते ।। १३.१७ ।।

vilalāpārtavadduḥkhaṃ gaganāsaktalocanaḥ | na prabhātaṃ tvayecchāmi niśe nakṣatrabhūṣite || 13.17 ||

His eyes fixed on the sky, he lamented in anguish like one afflicted: "O night adorned with stars, I do not wish you to turn to dawn!"

Shloka 18 (ayodhya.13.18)

क्रियतां मे दया भद्रे मयायं रचितोऽञ्जलिः । अथवा गम्यतां शीघ्रं नाहमिच्छामि निर्घृणाम् ।। १३.१८ ।।

kriyatāṃ me dayā bhadre mayāyaṃ racito'ñjaliḥ | athavā gamyatāṃ śīghraṃ nāhamicchāmi nirghṛṇām || 13.18 ||

"Have mercy on me, O gracious night—see, I stand before you with joined hands. Or else pass quickly by; I have no wish to see that merciless woman—"

Shloka 19 (ayodhya.13.19)

नृशंसां कैकेयीं द्रष्टुं यत्कृते व्यसनं महत् । एवमुक्त्वा ततो राजा कैकेयीं संयताञ्जलिः ।। १३.१९ ।।

nṛśaṃsāṃ kaikeyīṃ draṣṭuṃ yatkṛte vyasanaṃ mahat | evamuktvā tato rājā kaikeyīṃ saṃyatāñjaliḥ || 13.19 ||

"—that cruel Kaikeyi, for whose sake this great calamity has come." Having spoken so, the king then turned to Kaikeyi with joined hands.

Shloka 20 (ayodhya.13.20)

प्रसादयामास पुनः कैकेयीं चेदमब्रवीत् । साधुवृत्तस्य दीनस्य त्वद्गतस्य गतायुषः ।। १३.२० ।।

prasādayāmāsa punaḥ kaikeyīṃ cedamabravīt | sādhuvṛttasya dīnasya tvadgatasya gatāyuṣaḥ || 13.20 ||

He sought once more to appease Kaikeyi and said to her, "Of one who has lived virtuously, now grown wretched, dependent wholly upon you, his life all but spent—"

Shloka 21 (ayodhya.13.21)

प्रसादः क्रियतां देवि भद्रे राज्ञो विशेषतः । शून्ये न खलु सुश्रोणि मयेदं समुदाहृतम् ।। १३.२१ ।।

prasādaḥ kriyatāṃ devi bhadre rājño viśeṣataḥ | śūnye na khalu suśroṇi mayedaṃ samudāhṛtam || 13.21 ||

"—show mercy, O queen, O gracious one, especially to this king. This, O fair one, I have not spoken to no purpose."

Shloka 22 (ayodhya.13.22)

कुरु साधु प्रसादं मे बाले सहृदया ह्यसि । प्रसीद देवि रामो मे त्वद्दत्तं राज्यमव्ययम् ।। १३.२२ ।।

kuru sādhu prasādaṃ me bāle sahṛdayā hyasi | prasīda devi rāmo me tvaddattaṃ rājyamavyayam || 13.22 ||

"Grant me your kind favour, O young one, for you are truly tender-hearted. Be gracious, O queen—let this imperishable kingdom of my Rama's stand as your own gift."

Shloka 23 (ayodhya.13.23)

लभतामसितापाङ्गे यशः परमवाप्नुहि । मम रामस्य लोकस्य गुरूणां भरतस्य च ।। १३.२३ ।।

labhatāmasitāpāṅge yaśaḥ paramavāpnuhi | mama rāmasya lokasya gurūṇāṃ bharatasya ca || 13.23 ||

"Let him receive it, O dark-eyed one—and win for yourself the highest renown, in my eyes, in Rama's, in the world's, in the elders', and in Bharata's."

Shloka 24 (ayodhya.13.24)

प्रियमेतद्गुरुश्रोणि कुरु चारुमुखेक्षणे । विशुद्धभावस्य हि दुष्टभावा दीनस्य ताम्राश्रुकलस्य राज्ञः । श्रुत्वा विचित्रं करुणं विलापं भर्तुर्नृशंसा न चकार वाक्यम् ।। १३.२४ ।।

priyametadguruśroṇi kuru cārumukhekṣaṇe | viśuddhabhāvasya hi duṣṭabhāvā dīnasya tāmrāśrukalasya rājñaḥ | śrutvā vicitraṃ karuṇaṃ vilāpaṃ bharturnṛśaṃsā na cakāra vākyam || 13.24 ||

"Do me this one kindness, O lovely-eyed one." Yet hearing this strange and piteous lament of the king—pure of heart, now pitiable, his tears reddened like copper—that woman of evil intent, that cruel one, spoke not a word in reply.

Shloka 25 (ayodhya.13.25)

ततः स राजा पुनरेव मूर्च्छितः प्रियामतुष्टां प्रतिकूलभाषिणीम् । समीक्ष्य पुत्रस्य विवासनं प्रति क्षितौ विसंज्ञो निपपात दुःखितः ।। १३.२५ ।।

tataḥ sa rājā punareva mūrcchitaḥ priyāmatuṣṭāṃ pratikūlabhāṣiṇīm | samīkṣya putrasya vivāsanaṃ prati kṣitau visaṃjño nipapāta duḥkhitaḥ || 13.25 ||

Then the king, seeing his beloved queen unmoved and speaking so contrarily of his son's exile, fainted once more, and overcome with grief, fell senseless to the ground.

Shloka 26 (ayodhya.13.26)

इतीव राज्ञो व्यथितस्य सा निशा जगाम घोरं श्वसतो मनस्विनः । विबोध्यमानः प्रतिबोधनं तदा निवारयामास स राजसत्तमः ।। १३.२६ ।।

itīva rājño vyathitasya sā niśā jagāma ghoraṃ śvasato manasvinaḥ | vibodhyamānaḥ pratibodhanaṃ tadā nivārayāmāsa sa rājasattamaḥ || 13.26 ||

Thus did that dreadful night pass for the anguished, high-souled king as he sighed on; and when someone came to rouse him, that noblest of kings refused to be woken.