Kausalya's Lament

Shloka 1 (ayodhya.20.1)

तस्मिंस्तु पुरुषव्याघ्रे निष्क्रामति कृताञ्जलौ । आर्तशब्दो महान् जज्ञे स्त्रीणामन्तःपुरे तदा ॥ 20.1 ॥

tasmiṃstu puruṣavyāghre niṣkrāmati kṛtāñjalau | ārtaśabdo mahān jajñe strīṇāmantaḥpure tadā

While that tiger among men, hands folded in salutation, was thus taking leave, a great cry of anguish arose among the women in the palace.

Shloka 2 (ayodhya.20.2)

कृत्येष्वचोदितः पित्रा सर्वस्यान्तःपुरस्य च । गतिश्च शरणं चासीत् स रामोऽद्य प्रवत्स्यति ॥ 20.2 ॥

kṛtyeṣvacoditaḥ pitrā sarvasyāntaḥpurasya ca | gatiśca śaraṇaṃ cāsīt sa rāmo'dya pravatsyati

"He who, unbidden by his father, was the refuge and protector of the entire palace in every task -- that Rama is now going into exile."

Shloka 3 (ayodhya.20.3)

कौसल्यायां यथा युक्तो जनन्यां वर्तते सदा । तथैव वर्ततेऽस्मासु जन्मप्रभृति राघवः ॥ 20.3 ॥

kausalyāyāṃ yathā yukto jananyāṃ vartate sadā | tathaiva vartate'smāsu janmaprabhṛti rāghavaḥ

"As he has always been devoted to Kausalya, his own mother, so has Raghava behaved toward all of us, ever since his birth."

Shloka 4 (ayodhya.20.4)

न क्रुध्यत्यभिशप्तोऽपि क्रोधनीयानि वर्जयन् । क्रुद्धान् प्रसादयन् सर्वान् स इतोऽद्य प्रवत्स्यति ॥ 20.4 ॥

na krudhyatyabhiśapto'pi krodhanīyāni varjayan | kruddhān prasādayan sarvān sa ito'dya pravatsyati

"He never grew angry even when reviled, ever avoiding what might provoke wrath, always pacifying those who were angry -- that very Rama is going from here into exile today."

Shloka 5 (ayodhya.20.5)

अबुद्धिर्बत नो राजा जीवलोकं चरत्ययम् । यो गतिं सर्वभूतानां परित्यजति राघवम् ॥ 20.5 ॥

abuddhirbata no rājā jīvalokaṃ caratyayam | yo gatiṃ sarvabhūtānāṃ parityajati rāghavam

"How witless is this king of ours, who wanders on through the world of the living, having abandoned Rama, the refuge of all beings!"

Shloka 6 (ayodhya.20.6)

इति सर्वा महिष्यस्ता विवत्सा इव धेनवः । पतिमाचुक्रुशुश्चापि सस्वनं चापि चुक्रुशुः ॥ 20.6 ॥

iti sarvā mahiṣyastā vivatsā iva dhenavaḥ | patimācukruśuścāpi sasvanaṃ cāpi cukruśuḥ

Thus all those royal consorts, like cows bereft of their calves, cried aloud and reviled their husband, weeping in loud voices.

Shloka 7 (ayodhya.20.7)

स हि चान्तःपुरे घोरमार्तशब्दं महीपतिः । पुत्रशोकाभिसंतप्तः श्रुत्वा व्यालीयतासने ॥ 20.7 ॥

sa hi cāntaḥpure ghoramārtaśabdaṃ mahīpatiḥ | putraśokābhisaṃtaptaḥ śrutvā vyālīyatāsane

Hearing that terrible, anguished cry within the inner apartments, the lord of the earth, consumed by grief for his son, sank down upon his seat.

Shloka 8 (ayodhya.20.8)

रामस्तु भृशमायस्तो निःश्वसन्निव कुञ्जरः । जगाम सहितो भ्रात्रा मातुरन्तःपुरं वशी ॥ 20.8 ॥

rāmastu bhṛśamāyasto niḥśvasanniva kuñjaraḥ | jagāma sahito bhrātrā māturantaḥpuraṃ vaśī

Rama, deeply afflicted, sighing like an elephant, his senses mastered, went together with his brother to his mother's apartments.

Shloka 9 (ayodhya.20.9)

सोऽपश्यत् पुरुषं तत्र वृद्धं परमपूजितम् । उपविष्टं गृहद्वारि तिष्ठतश्चापरान् बहून् ॥ 20.9 ॥

so'paśyat puruṣaṃ tatra vṛddhaṃ paramapūjitam | upaviṣṭaṃ gṛhadvāri tiṣṭhataścāparān bahūn

There he saw an old man, greatly honoured, seated at the door of the house, and many others standing about.

Shloka 10 (ayodhya.20.10)

दृष्ट्वैव तु तदा रामं ते सर्वे समुपस्थिताः । जयेन जयतां श्रेष्ठं वर्धयन्ति स्म राघवम् ॥ 20.10 ॥

dṛṣṭvaiva tu tadā rāmaṃ te sarve samupasthitāḥ | jayena jayatāṃ śreṣṭhaṃ vardhayanti sma rāghavam

As soon as they saw Rama, all of them rose at once and greeted Raghava, the foremost of the victorious, with cries of "Victory!"

Shloka 11 (ayodhya.20.11)

प्रविश्य प्रथमां कक्ष्यां द्वितीयायां ददर्श सः । ब्राह्मणान् वेदसम्पन्नान् वृद्धान् राज्ञाभिसत्कृतान् ॥ 20.11 ॥

praviśya prathamāṃ kakṣyāṃ dvitīyāyāṃ dadarśa saḥ | brāhmaṇān vedasampannān vṛddhān rājñābhisatkṛtān

Entering the first enclosure, he saw at the second gate aged brahmins, versed in the Vedas, honoured by the king.

Shloka 12 (ayodhya.20.12)

प्रणम्य रामस्तान् वृद्धांस्तृतीयायां ददर्श सः । स्त्रियो बालाश्च वृद्धाश्च द्वाररक्षणतत्पराः ॥ 20.12 ॥

praṇamya rāmastān vṛddhāṃstṛtīyāyāṃ dadarśa saḥ | striyo bālāśca vṛddhāśca dvārarakṣaṇatatparāḥ

Having saluted those elders, he saw at the third gate women, both young and old, intent upon guarding the entrance.

Shloka 13 (ayodhya.20.13)

वर्धयित्वा प्रहृष्टास्ताः प्रविश्य च गृहं स्त्रियः । न्यवेदयन्त त्वरितं राममातुः प्रियं तदा ॥ 20.13 ॥

vardhayitvā prahṛṣṭāstāḥ praviśya ca gṛhaṃ striyaḥ | nyavedayanta tvaritaṃ rāmamātuḥ priyaṃ tadā

Those women, delighted, having greeted him with blessings, hastened into the house and told Rama's mother of his welcome arrival.

Shloka 14 (ayodhya.20.14)

कौसल्यापि तदा देवी रात्रिं स्थित्वा समाहिता । प्रभाते चाकरोत् पूजां विष्णोः पुत्रहितैषिणी ॥ 20.14 ॥

kausalyāpi tadā devī rātriṃ sthitvā samāhitā | prabhāte cākarot pūjāṃ viṣṇoḥ putrahitaiṣiṇī

Queen Kausalya, having kept vigil through the night, composed in mind, was at dawn performing worship to Vishnu, seeking her son's welfare.

Shloka 15 (ayodhya.20.15)

सा क्षौमवसना हृष्टा नित्यं व्रतपरायणा । अग्निं जुहोति स्म तदा मन्त्रवत् कृतमङ्गला ॥ 20.15 ॥

sā kṣaumavasanā hṛṣṭā nityaṃ vrataparāyaṇā | agniṃ juhoti sma tadā mantravat kṛtamaṅgalā

Clad in silk of undyed white, ever devoted to her vows, joyful and adorned for the auspicious rite, she was offering oblations into the fire, reciting the sacred formulas.

Shloka 16 (ayodhya.20.16)

प्रविश्य तु तदा रामो मातुरन्तःपुरं शुभम् । ददर्श मातरं तत्र हावयन्तीं हुताशनम् ॥ 20.16 ॥

praviśya tu tadā rāmo māturantaḥpuraṃ śubham | dadarśa mātaraṃ tatra hāvayantīṃ hutāśanam

Then Rama, entering his mother's auspicious apartment, saw his mother there, pouring offerings into the sacred fire.

Shloka 17 (ayodhya.20.17)

देवकार्यनिमित्तं च तत्रापश्यत् समुद्यतम् । दध्यक्षतघृतं चैव मोदकान् हविषस्तथा ॥ 20.17 ॥

devakāryanimittaṃ ca tatrāpaśyat samudyatam | dadhyakṣataghṛtaṃ caiva modakān haviṣastathā

There, for the sake of the divine rite, he saw laid out and ready curd, unbroken rice, ghee, and sweetmeats fit for oblation,

Shloka 18 (ayodhya.20.18)

लाजान् माल्यानि शुक्लानि पायसं कृसरं तथा । समिधः पूर्णकुम्भांश्च ददर्श रघुनन्दनः ॥ 20.18 ॥

lājān mālyāni śuklāni pāyasaṃ kṛsaraṃ tathā | samidhaḥ pūrṇakumbhāṃśca dadarśa raghunandanaḥ

parched grain, garlands of white flowers, rice cooked in milk, and a dish of rice and sesame; that delight of the Raghus saw the sacrificial twigs and the vessels filled to the brim.

Shloka 19 (ayodhya.20.19)

तां शुक्लक्षौमसंवीतां व्रतयोगेन कर्शिताम् । तर्पयन्तीं ददर्शाद्भिर्देवतां वरवर्णिनीम् ॥ 20.19 ॥

tāṃ śuklakṣaumasaṃvītāṃ vratayogena karśitām | tarpayantīṃ dadarśādbhirdevatāṃ varavarṇinīm

He saw her, clad in white silk, made thin by her observance of vows, of goddess-like beauty, satisfying the gods with libations of water.

Shloka 20 (ayodhya.20.20)

सा चिरस्यात्मजं दृष्ट्वा मातृनन्दनमागतम् । अभिचक्राम संहृष्टा किशोरं वडवा यथा ॥ 20.20 ॥

sā cirasyātmajaṃ dṛṣṭvā mātṛnandanamāgatam | abhicakrāma saṃhṛṣṭā kiśoraṃ vaḍavā yathā

Seeing her son, who so delighted his mother, arrived after so long, she rose up joyfully to meet him, as a mare runs to her young foal.

Shloka 21 (ayodhya.20.21)

स मातरमुपक्रान्तामुपसंगृह्य राघवः । परिष्वक्तश्च बाहुभ्यामवघ्रातश्च मूर्धनि ॥ 20.21 ॥

sa mātaramupakrāntāmupasaṃgṛhya rāghavaḥ | pariṣvaktaśca bāhubhyāmavaghrātaśca mūrdhani

Raghava, embracing his mother as she came forward, was clasped in her arms and kissed upon the head.

Shloka 22 (ayodhya.20.22)

तमुवाच दुराधर्षं राघवं सुतमात्मनः । कौसल्या पुत्रवात्सल्यादिदं प्रियहितं वचः ॥ 20.22 ॥

tamuvāca durādharṣaṃ rāghavaṃ sutamātmanaḥ | kausalyā putravātsalyādidaṃ priyahitaṃ vacaḥ

Kausalya, out of maternal affection, spoke these pleasing and beneficial words to that unassailable Raghava, her own son:

Shloka 23 (ayodhya.20.23)

वृद्धानां धर्मशीलानां राजर्षीणां महात्मनाम् । प्राप्नुह्यायुश्च कीर्तिं च धर्मं चाप्युचितं कुले ॥ 20.23 ॥

vṛddhānāṃ dharmaśīlānāṃ rājarṣīṇāṃ mahātmanām | prāpnuhyāyuśca kīrtiṃ ca dharmaṃ cāpyucitaṃ kule

"Attain, as the aged, righteous, and great-souled royal sages have attained, long life and fame, and the righteousness fitting to our lineage."

Shloka 24 (ayodhya.20.24)

सत्यप्रतिज्ञं पितरं राजानं पश्य राघव । अद्यैव त्वां स धर्मात्मा यौवराज्येऽभिषेक्ष्यति ॥ 20.24 ॥

satyapratijñaṃ pitaraṃ rājānaṃ paśya rāghava | adyaiva tvāṃ sa dharmātmā yauvarājye'bhiṣekṣyati

"See, O Raghava, your father, the king, ever true to his word -- this very day that righteous soul will install you as heir to the kingdom."

Shloka 25 (ayodhya.20.25)

दत्तमासनमालभ्य भोजनेन निमन्त्रितः । मातरं राघवः किंचित् प्रसार्याञ्जलिमब्रवीत् ॥ 20.25 ॥

dattamāsanamālabhya bhojanena nimantritaḥ | mātaraṃ rāghavaḥ kiṃcit prasāryāñjalimabravīt

Invited to partake of the food, and offered a seat, Raghava merely touched it, and, folding his hands slightly, said this to his mother --

Shloka 26 (ayodhya.20.26)

स स्वभावविनीतश्च गौरवाच्च तथानतः । प्रस्थितो दण्डकारण्यमाप्रष्टुमुपचक्रमे ॥ 20.26 ॥

sa svabhāvavinītaśca gauravācca tathānataḥ | prasthito daṇḍakāraṇyamāpraṣṭumupacakrame

-- for he, naturally humble, and now further bowed down with reverence, was about to set forth for the Dandaka forest, and began to ask her leave:

Shloka 27 (ayodhya.20.27)

देवि नूनं न जानीषे महद् भयमुपस्थितम् । इदं तव च दुःखाय वैदेह्या लक्ष्मणस्य च ॥ 20.27 ॥

devi nūnaṃ na jānīṣe mahad bhayamupasthitam | idaṃ tava ca duḥkhāya vaidehyā lakṣmaṇasya ca

"O queen, surely you do not know of the great danger now come upon us -- one that will bring grief to you, to Vaidehi, and to Lakshmana."

Shloka 28 (ayodhya.20.28)

गमिष्ये दण्डकारण्यं किमनेनासनेन मे । विष्टरासनयोग्यो हि कालोऽयं मामुपस्थितः ॥ 20.28 ॥

gamiṣye daṇḍakāraṇyaṃ kimanenāsanena me | viṣṭarāsanayogyo hi kālo'yaṃ māmupasthitaḥ

"I am going to the Dandaka forest; what use have I now for this seat? The time has come for me that befits a seat of woven grass."

Shloka 29 (ayodhya.20.29)

चतुर्दश हि वर्षाणि वत्स्याम विजने वने । कन्दमूलफलैर्जीवन् हित्वा मुनिवदामिषम् ॥ 20.29 ॥

caturdaśa hi varṣāṇi vatsyāma vijane vane | kandamūlaphalairjīvan hitvā munivadāmiṣam

"For fourteen years I shall dwell in the solitary forest, living on roots and fruits, giving up meat like a hermit."

Shloka 30 (ayodhya.20.30)

भरताय महाराजो यौवराज्यं प्रयच्छति । मां पुनर्दण्डकारण्यं विवासयति तापसम् ॥ 20.30 ॥

bharatāya mahārājo yauvarājyaṃ prayacchati | māṃ punardaṇḍakāraṇyaṃ vivāsayati tāpasam

"The great king is bestowing the succession on Bharata, and me, in turn, he sends as an ascetic to dwell in the Dandaka forest."

Shloka 31 (ayodhya.20.31)

स षट् चाष्टौ च वर्षाणि वत्स्यामि विजने वने । आसेवमानो वन्यानि फलमूलैश्च वर्तयन् ॥ 20.31 ॥

sa ṣaṭ cāṣṭau ca varṣāṇi vatsyāmi vijane vane | āsevamāno vanyāni phalamūlaiśca vartayan

"For those same fourteen years I shall dwell in the lonely forest, subsisting on forest produce, sustaining myself with roots and fruits."

Shloka 32 (ayodhya.20.32)

सा निकृत्तेव सालस्य यष्टिः परशुना वने । पपात सहसा देवी देवतेव दिवश्च्युता ॥ 20.32 ॥

sā nikṛtteva sālasya yaṣṭiḥ paraśunā vane | papāta sahasā devī devateva divaścyutā

That queen fell suddenly to the ground, like a great branch of a sala tree cut down by an axe in the forest, or like a goddess fallen from heaven.

Shloka 33 (ayodhya.20.33)

तामदुःखोचितां दृष्ट्वा पतितां कदलीमिव । रामस्तूत्थापयामास मातरं गतचेतसम् ॥ 20.33 ॥

tāmaduḥkhocitāṃ dṛṣṭvā patitāṃ kadalīmiva | rāmastūtthāpayāmāsa mātaraṃ gatacetasam

Seeing his mother, who deserved never to know sorrow, fallen like a plantain tree, and bereft of her senses, Rama raised her up.

Shloka 34 (ayodhya.20.34)

उपावृत्योत्थितां दीनां वडवामिव वाहिताम् । पांसुगुण्ठितसर्वाङ्गीं विममर्श च पाणिना ॥ 20.34 ॥

upāvṛtyotthitāṃ dīnāṃ vaḍavāmiva vāhitām | pāṃsuguṇṭhitasarvāṅgīṃ vimamarśa ca pāṇinā

He turned to her as she rose, wretched, like a mare being forced along, her whole body smeared with dust, and touched her gently with his hand.

Shloka 35 (ayodhya.20.35)

सा राघवमुपासीनमसुखार्ता सुखोचिता । उवाच पुरुषव्याघ्रमुपशृण्वति लक्ष्मणे ॥ 20.35 ॥

sā rāghavamupāsīnamasukhārtā sukhocitā | uvāca puruṣavyāghramupaśṛṇvati lakṣmaṇe

She, deserving happiness but now afflicted with sorrow, spoke to Raghava, the tiger among men, as he sat near her, while Lakshmana listened.

Shloka 36 (ayodhya.20.36)

यदि पुत्र न जायेथा मम शोकाय राघव । न स्म दुःखमतो भूयः पश्येयमहमप्रजाः ॥ 20.36 ॥

yadi putra na jāyethā mama śokāya rāghava | na sma duḥkhamato bhūyaḥ paśyeyamahamaprajāḥ

"If you had not been born, my son, to cause me this grief, O Raghava, I, childless, would never have known a sorrow greater than this."

Shloka 37 (ayodhya.20.37)

एक एव हि वन्ध्यायाः शोको भवति मानसः । अप्रजास्मीति संतापो न ह्यन्यः पुत्र विद्यते ॥ 20.37 ॥

eka eva hi vandhyāyāḥ śoko bhavati mānasaḥ | aprajāsmīti saṃtāpo na hyanyaḥ putra vidyate

"For a barren woman there is but a single grief of the mind -- the anguish of thinking, 'I have no child'; no other sorrow exists for her."

Shloka 38 (ayodhya.20.38)

न दृष्टपूर्वं कल्याणं सुखं वा पतिपौरुषे । अपि पुत्रे विपश्येयमिति रामास्थितं मया ॥ 20.38 ॥

na dṛṣṭapūrvaṃ kalyāṇaṃ sukhaṃ vā patipauruṣe | api putre vipaśyeyamiti rāmāsthitaṃ mayā

"I had never before known happiness or prosperity while my husband held power; I believed, Rama, that I might see it at least through my son."

Shloka 39 (ayodhya.20.39)

सा बहून्यमनोज्ञानि वाक्यानि हृदयच्छिदाम् । अहं श्रोष्ये सपत्नीनामवराणां परा सती ॥ 20.39 ॥

sā bahūnyamanojñāni vākyāni hṛdayacchidām | ahaṃ śroṣye sapatnīnāmavarāṇāṃ parā satī

"I, though the better and virtuous wife, must now listen to the many disagreeable, heart-piercing words of my co-wives, who are inferior to me."

Shloka 40 (ayodhya.20.40)

अतो दुःखतरं किं नु प्रमदानां भविष्यति । मम शोको विलापश्च यादृशोऽयमनन्तकः ॥ 20.40 ॥

ato duḥkhataraṃ kiṃ nu pramadānāṃ bhaviṣyati | mama śoko vilāpaśca yādṛśo'yamanantakaḥ

"What sorrow could be greater to any woman than this endless grief and lament that has now come to me?"

Shloka 41 (ayodhya.20.41)

त्वयि संनिहितेऽप्येवमहमासं निराकृता । किं पुनः प्रोषिते तात ध्रुवं मरणमेव हि ॥ 20.41 ॥

tvayi saṃnihite'pyevamahamāsaṃ nirākṛtā | kiṃ punaḥ proṣite tāta dhruvaṃ maraṇameva hi

"Even while you are near me, I have been treated with such contempt; what then, O father, when you are gone? Death alone, surely, remains for me."

Shloka 42 (ayodhya.20.42)

अत्यन्तं निगृहीतास्मि भर्तुर्नित्यमसम्मता । परिवारेण कैकेय्याः समा वाप्यथवावरा ॥ 20.42 ॥

atyantaṃ nigṛhītāsmi bharturnityamasammatā | parivāreṇa kaikeyyāḥ samā vāpyathavāvarā

"I have ever been utterly suppressed by my husband, never favoured, treated as equal to, or even lower than, the attendants of Kaikeyi."

Shloka 43 (ayodhya.20.43)

यो हि मां सेवते कश्चिदपि वाप्यनुवर्तते । कैकेय्याः पुत्रमन्वीक्ष्य स जनो नाभिभाषते ॥ 20.43 ॥

yo hi māṃ sevate kaścidapi vāpyanuvartate | kaikeyyāḥ putramanvīkṣya sa jano nābhibhāṣate

"Whoever serves me, or shows me any regard, will no longer speak to me at all, once he looks to Kaikeyi's son."

Shloka 44 (ayodhya.20.44)

नित्यक्रोधतया तस्याः कथं नु खरवादि तत् । कैकेय्या वदनं द्रष्टुं पुत्र शक्ष्यामि दुर्गता ॥ 20.44 ॥

nityakrodhatayā tasyāḥ kathaṃ nu kharavādi tat | kaikeyyā vadanaṃ draṣṭuṃ putra śakṣyāmi durgatā

"Because of her perpetual anger and harsh speech, how, O son, shall I, wretched as I am, ever bear to look upon the face of Kaikeyi?"

Shloka 45 (ayodhya.20.45)

दश सप्त च वर्षाणि जातस्य तव राघव । अतीतानि प्रकांक्षन्त्या मया दुःखपरिक्षयम् ॥ 20.45 ॥

daśa sapta ca varṣāṇi jātasya tava rāghava | atītāni prakāṃkṣantyā mayā duḥkhaparikṣayam

"For seventeen years, Raghava, since your birth, I have waited, hoping for an end to my sorrow."

Shloka 46 (ayodhya.20.46)

तदक्षयं महद्दुःखं नोत्सहे सहितुं चिरात् । विप्रकारं सपत्नीनामेवं जीर्णापि राघव ॥ 20.46 ॥

tadakṣayaṃ mahadduḥkhaṃ notsahe sahituṃ cirāt | viprakāraṃ sapatnīnāmevaṃ jīrṇāpi rāghava

"That endless, great sorrow I cannot bear to endure any longer -- the ill-treatment of my co-wives -- worn out with age as I now am, Raghava."

Shloka 47 (ayodhya.20.47)

अपश्यन्ती तव मुखं परिपूर्णशशिप्रभम् । कृपणा वर्तयिष्यामि कथं कृपणजीविका ॥ 20.47 ॥

apaśyantī tava mukhaṃ paripūrṇaśaśiprabham | kṛpaṇā vartayiṣyāmi kathaṃ kṛpaṇajīvikā

"Not seeing your face, radiant as the full moon, how, wretched as I am, shall I drag on this pitiable existence?"

Shloka 48 (ayodhya.20.48)

उपवासैश्च योगैश्च बहुभिश्च परिश्रमैः । दुःखसंवर्धितो मोघं त्वं हि दुर्गतया मया ॥ 20.48 ॥

upavāsaiśca yogaiśca bahubhiśca pariśramaiḥ | duḥkhasaṃvardhito moghaṃ tvaṃ hi durgatayā mayā

"By fasts, by spiritual disciplines, by many austerities, I, unfortunate one, raised you -- all, it seems, in vain."

Shloka 49 (ayodhya.20.49)

स्थिरं नु हृदयं मन्ये ममेदं यन्न दीर्यते । प्रावृषीव महानद्याः स्पृष्टं कूलं नवाम्भसा ॥ 20.49 ॥

sthiraṃ nu hṛdayaṃ manye mamedaṃ yanna dīryate | prāvṛṣīva mahānadyāḥ spṛṣṭaṃ kūlaṃ navāmbhasā

"I think this heart of mine must indeed be firm, since it does not break, like the bank of a great river struck by the fresh waters of the monsoon."

Shloka 50 (ayodhya.20.50)

ममैव नूनं मरणं न विद्यते न चावकाशोऽस्ति यमक्षये मम । यदन्तकोऽद्यैव न मां जिहीर्षति प्रसह्य सिंहो रुदतीं मृगीमिव ॥ 20.50 ॥

mamaiva nūnaṃ maraṇaṃ na vidyate na cāvakāśo'sti yamakṣaye mama | yadantako'dyaiva na māṃ jihīrṣati prasahya siṃho rudatīṃ mṛgīmiva

"Surely there is no death for me, nor any place for me in the realm of Yama, since Death does not choose, even now, to seize me by force, as a lion seizes a weeping doe."

Shloka 51 (ayodhya.20.51)

स्थिरं हि नूनं हृदयं ममायसं न भिद्यते यद् भुवि नो विदीर्यते । अनेन दुःखेन च देहमर्पितं ध्रुवं ह्यकाले मरणं न विद्यते ॥ 20.51 ॥

sthiraṃ hi nūnaṃ hṛdayaṃ mamāyasaṃ na bhidyate yad bhuvi no vidīryate | anena duḥkhena ca dehamarpitaṃ dhruvaṃ hyakāle maraṇaṃ na vidyate

"Truly this heart of mine must be made of iron, since it neither breaks nor crumbles to the ground; though this body is given over to grief, certain it is that an untimely death does not come."

Shloka 52 (ayodhya.20.52)

इदं तु दुःखं यदनर्थकानि मे व्रतानि दानानि च संयमाश्च हि । तपश्च तप्तं यदपत्यकाम्यया सुनिष्फलं बीजमिवोप्तमूषरे ॥ 20.52 ॥

idaṃ tu duḥkhaṃ yadanarthakāni me vratāni dānāni ca saṃyamāśca hi | tapaśca taptaṃ yadapatyakāmyayā suniṣphalaṃ bījamivoptamūṣare

"This alone grieves me -- that my vows, my acts of charity, my self-restraints, and the austerity performed for the sake of a child, have all become as fruitless as seed sown upon barren, salt-crusted soil."

Shloka 53 (ayodhya.20.53)

यदि ह्यकाले मरणं यदृच्छया लभेत कश्चिद् गुरुदुःखकर्शितः । गताहमद्यैव परेतसंसदं विना त्वया धेनुरिवात्मजेन वै ॥ 20.53 ॥

yadi hyakāle maraṇaṃ yadṛcchayā labheta kaścid guruduḥkhakarśitaḥ | gatāhamadyaiva paretasaṃsadaṃ vinā tvayā dhenurivātmajena vai

"If one crushed by great grief could, by mere wish, obtain an untimely death, I, parted from you today, like a cow parted from her calf, would already have gone to join the ranks of the departed."

Shloka 54 (ayodhya.20.54)

अथापि किं जीवितमद्य मे वृथा त्वया विना चन्द्रनिभाननप्रभ । अनुव्रजिष्यामि वनं त्वयैव गौः सुदुर्बला वत्समिवाभिकांक्षया ॥ 20.54 ॥

athāpi kiṃ jīvitamadya me vṛthā tvayā vinā candranibhānanaprabha | anuvrajiṣyāmi vanaṃ tvayaiva gauḥ sudurbalā vatsamivābhikāṃkṣayā

"Yet what use, indeed, is my life to me now without you, O you of the moon-bright, radiant face? I shall follow you to the forest, as a feeble cow follows, in longing, after her calf."

Shloka 55 (ayodhya.20.55)

भृशमसुखममर्षिता तदा बहु विललाप समीक्ष्य राघवम् । व्यसनमुपनिशाम्य सा महत् सुतमिव बद्धमवेक्ष्य किंनरी ॥ 20.55 ॥

bhṛśamasukhamamarṣitā tadā bahu vilalāpa samīkṣya rāghavam | vyasanamupaniśāmya sā mahat sutamiva baddhamavekṣya kiṃnarī

Then, greatly distressed and indignant, gazing upon Raghava, that queen lamented much and in many ways, seeing that great calamity, beholding her son bound by it, like a kinnara woman mourning.